Also I thought I should post a list of qualifications I have as an employee that I may have not included in the resumes and cover letters and work histories and CVs and medical records and IQ tests that I have submitted to various businesses that have not called me back...
1. I am extremely skilled at drawing semi-nude and nude male celebrities. I do not draw female nude celebrities because that would be weird.
2. I have immense amount of talent for organizing files filled with screen shots of television commercials that come on after midnight.
3. I can walk the shit out of a dog in the middle of the day. Literally.
4. I can write into the Diane Rehm show too late to be read on the air.
5. I can learn to play a simple song badly and sing it to you later if I'm drunk.
6. I can wash all the dishes in your house.
7. I can write a story that doesn't really make any sense and doesn't go anywhere but is kind of funny.
8. I can roll socks.
9. I can smoke cigarettes even though I don't smoke.
10. I can chase a cat that looks like a cat I saw in a "Missing Cat" flyer and never catch him.
The end... maybe I'll think of some more.
