What's not new?

Working on sketches for new paintings but have nothing really to show yet.  All I can tell you is that it involves SUPER YACHTS.  These are not your daddy's yachts, no sir.  Your dad didn't have a helicopter, or another tiny yacht that fits inside the super yacht which we are discussing now.  Anyway...

Dug into my digital archives and dusted off some older stories.  These words are from a story called The Expert.

As he approached city hall, with its dull fountains and its schoolroom lighting, Parker saw a young woman in a nice looking green suit with pants that pinched between her thighs, and he knew in order to have had that life he would had to have a wife.  And to have had a wife he would had to have been an expert in women.   

And he thought, to be married now he would have had to been able to say things that seemed so logical but for some reason, he threw his rages against 

at the time.  

He

 fought tooth and nail for every last dreg of credibility, when the trough had already been licked clean.  

P

arker had thrown himself into the role of a lover then found himself suddenly, rather unremar

kably, abandoned.  Left to never love again.  Not for real.  Because he didn’t know what love was.  He felt love for every soft faced woman he saw.  As that young woman passed he felt the twinge in his gut and wanted to ask her all about her day, though he didn't care what she had to say

Cloudy these daze...

There new music up on soundcloud! The songs I am putting together are part of an album called UNLUCKY.  The new song has the same name.

Here's some text from a new story:

Walking underneath the stars to where his car was parked just outside the circle of light cast from a weak street lamp, Nathan had that tightness in his abdomen that signified dread, but his head was light and he smiled a hazy smile and gaped up happily at the moon.  The houses were dark.  He wondered if the neighbors were maybe on to him.  Maybe they knew he was coming out here and getting stoned, then driving the ten miles of highway home every few weeks or so.  Drifting alone out of the center lane.  Letting the lights off little reflectors in the road way mark the shapes of the night upon his consciousness.  He sung.  He listened tenderly to the sounds of sometimes music, sometimes the beat of the road on the tires.  But he was always somewhat aware that what he was doing was wrong, even though he had never attempted to change the behavior.  He got to the car and unlocked the door as casually as he thought how.  As he fumbled with his keys he tried to imagine himself sober, the way he might walk down a street and open a car door.  He tried to think whether that natural grace was possible. 

I HAVE AN OPINION

This drawing has a new home with the lucky lady Irum Javed.  I hope you two are happy together...

Also I thought I should post a list of qualifications I have as an employee that I may have not included in the resumes and cover letters and work histories and CVs and medical records and IQ tests that I have submitted to various businesses that have not called me back...

1.  I am extremely skilled at drawing semi-nude and nude male celebrities.  I do not draw female nude celebrities because that would be weird.

2.  I have immense amount of talent for organizing files filled with screen shots of television commercials that come on after midnight.

3.  I can walk the shit out of a dog in the middle of the day.  Literally.

4.  I can write into the Diane Rehm show too late to be read on the air.

5.  I can learn to play a simple song badly and sing it to you later if I'm drunk.

6.  I can wash all the dishes in your house.

7.  I can write a story that doesn't really make any sense and doesn't go anywhere but is kind of funny.

8.  I can roll socks.

9.  I can smoke cigarettes even though I don't smoke.

10.  I can chase a cat that looks like a cat I saw in a "Missing Cat" flyer and never catch him.

The end... maybe I'll think of some more.

Cheap Cheap

just came home from seeing John Hodgman and my throat hurts from laughter... and also because of something that I'm not sure is the flu.  Here (above) is a picture of the Cheap Fun! show.  I'll post a couple more later.

Thanky

Thanks to everyone who attended CHEAP FUN last Friday, it was super cheap and super fun.  Thanks also to the fine citizens who donated booze and food.  I will post pictures soon.

More short story zines will be coming as well and will be available to purchase on an online store that has yet to exist.


Here is a sample from one of the stories:

With all Stephen’s education he never learned how to fix his own meals.  Even after he caught his father standing over his bowl of cereal with a saltshaker, gazing vacantly into the milk as it grayed and became bitter.

 –from The Hand That Feeds Him

Oh parents, they sure could fuck you up if they wanted to.

Putin and his puppy

VLAD!

CHEAP FUN ART SHOW one week from today! October 28th! (check the last post for more details)

I was a bit hungover so I watched CNN this morning, more for a way to numb my brain than anything else.  The sexy news lady was pontificating about whether it was disrespectful the way the rebels in Libya were treating Gaddafi's body... isn't it better to make it apparent to the prospective young dictators of the world that tyranny generally ends with you as a bloody mess?  He looked like if someone took the corpse of Elizabeth Taylor and threw it down a flight of stairs... then shot it.  Just saying, it wasn't very respectful of Muammar to go dictating all over the place in the stylish way he did.

Speaking of dictators, I mentioned in my last post that there will be some zines for sale at CHEAP FUN one of which will be the official fanzine of Vladimir Putin, VLAD!  Come see this beautiful Russian hunk of man in all his glory.

UPCOMING SHOW, CHEAP FUN!

OCTOBER 28th, which is a Friday, which is also the birthdays of such greats as Charlie Daniels and our favorite despot to despise and have nightmares about Mr. Mahmoud Ahmadinajagahagajhd (I'm not sure if would actually be considered a despot due to his apparent lack of actual power)... anyway, Friday Oct 28th I will be having an art show at 5949 Kingsbury Avenue here in St. Louis (would you like a map?).  There will be paintings, drawings and all that good stuff as well as some literature zines for a low low low low low price.  There will also be cheap prints for sale so bring your AMEX cards or your unwanted Sacagawea coins.  Free booze and food will be provided.  Here is the cover of the zine-style short story book.

also, if you happen to have picked up my show card and you followed the address to this site and you like what you see, subscribe!  Really, its embarrassing to the blogspot people that only three people read this (one of them being my girlfriend who doesn't actually read it).  And if you don't like it pass the card along to someone who has nothing to do on a Friday night.

T-shirts

"You know where the big bux are?"
"Yes."
"T-shirts"
"Oh."
"You know where the bigger bux are?"
"Uh."
"T-shirts with artsy designs that make no sense."
"Ok."

The sound is in the clouds

I've been away for a while, and this will be no surprise to the two guys who might read this blog, but I am back and have nothing better to do but update.  I recently lost my job which really means I have more time to do art and write and all the stuff I like to do.... at least until the money runs out.  A little change... I declare this site to not only be dedicated to visual art but also my writing and music.  So here is a song.

New things coming up... short story zine.  Some new paintings and drawings.  Possibly some recorded stories, and more music.  I've also been working on a new comic, but it may be a while before I finish that.

Tornado of fun...

I'm sorry, tornado(e?)s are not fun.  This is what I do when terrible storms abound.

 Big screen TV with a sleek, modern stand.

Nightmares about the 90's.

Stop me if you've heard this one.  Brown & Brown.

Weekday Update

Finished Binder painting

Drawing of Steve Goedeker from Goedeker's Superstore, open every day but Sunday...

Test drawing of couches

Some Drawings

Today I have some drawings, two of which may be future paintings.  The top guy is Charles Binder, a disabilities advocate lawyer ( I think).  The middle guy is Don Brown, a local car salesmen in his X-MAS suit.  And the final drawing is of Fred from Dirt Cheap as a muscle man.  

in utero

stuff in progress...

More Sketches

 Excuse me, she isn't a genie.  She's the Queen of Carpet.  She rides a carpet because she is the queen not because she is a genie with special powers or some shit.  Come on man.

CHEAP CHEAP FUN FUN

This is a sketch for a series of paintings to be made for my upcoming show CHEAP FUN, which will be opening here in St. Louis sometime in April.  A good introduction, I hope, to a collection of work that features portraits of television lawyers, car dealers, discount carpet and tile genies, and notoriously cheap liquor salesmen.  The above drawing is of Don Brown, a car salesman who enjoys tuxedos.